me and my fam'

FCC considering decency standards adjustment

The FCC is currently considering whether it should reduce or relax decency standards.    The current topics at hand include allowing female frontal nudity, the F-bomb and more, even during prime time hours when children are clearly viewing programs.  Please take a moment to surf to Morality in Media, Porn Harms’ website here to get information on how to protest.

They will ask you to file an official complaint with the FCC that will be part of public record.

Please look in to it and file a complaint.  Our country continues to sink and finding places to fight these battles is sometimes challenging.  This is an easy opportunity to speak your mind about decency standards.  I did and encourage you to do so as well.


Some Holiday Fun

Today I took the kids down to Seattle to listen to Rebecca’s choir concert.  Great fun was had by all (most of the time, anyway).  The choir sounds great and there is a new men’s group that was totally awesome tonight!  It was a kids concert, so it was lively and things were a little loud and there were multiple instances of kids being dragged outside in tantrums.  Quite nice.

We took a stroll around downtown while we were there – the area south of the Convention Center.  We came across a HUGE star on the side of a building, crowds and crowds of shoppers, and a humongous Christmas Tree that the girls loved.


The funniest part of the night were the shoes!  Just look at them!  Brianna got one or two comments from random strangers about her cool boots.

Asia has also been reminding me about a really cool dream she had.  She has taken to watching more grown-up shows with Daddy instead of things that …ahem…other people in the house might enjoy, (Strawberry Shortcake comes to mind).  we watched Iron Man 2 (well, most of it was seen…parts were not) and the next morning Asia excitedly came in to tell me that she had a dream that she was dressed up in a blue suit and could fly!


Brianna is still cute as ever and is surprising me more and more with her level of responsibleness around the home.  A few days ago, Rebecca had to leave early to sing downtown on an early morning talk show (here) and I was at home getting the kids ready.  Brianna had her bed made, teeth brushed, was dressed, ate breakfast, practiced piano and did an extra chore…all so she could play online for a few moments before school started.  Amazing what a little motivation can do so chores get done.  She is a sweetheart and becoming very dedicated and disciplined (along with being cute and loveable, of course).


Power: such a dirty word

by Matt

As I sit in my hotel in Boise following a mildly successful Google Hangout into Alan Boss’s class tonight, I am quite surprised at the depth this course has taken so far in my life.  I challenged Alan to convince me that his class could help “my business” (i.e. any place I worked) to make more money.  I am convinced that he has met my challenge tonight. 

Tonight, he talked about power and gave 20 points of power that have really made be think hard about what I am trying to do each day I go to work. 

Alan Boss’ list of 20 points of power:

1.  Power is the potential to achieve what you want. Influence is actually getting what you want to happen.

Example:  Power is a 350 Horse Power engine in your car.  Influence is actually driving down the road at 120 mph.

2.  Power is a dirty word.  

Power corrupts.  Absolute power corrupts absolutely.  We believe power is bad.  Executives, when asked if they wanted more power, almost unequivocally said “no.”  When asked if they wanted more influence, 100% of them said “yes.”

3.  There are multiple sources of power.  An incomplete list from his lecture is:

Positional, Reward, Coercive, Information, Charisma, Referent

He had us try and guess what the most powerful sources of power are.  I guessed Informational.  Positional is usually the guess from the class he says.

4.  Power sources are not equal.

Referent power is the greatest source of power.  It comes because people trust you.  If people trust you they are willing to open up their sources of power to you.  If they don’t trust you, you don’t get anything.  So if you have the trust of a powerful person, you have all of that person’s power, plus your own.  Remember, power leads to influence.  power isn’t bad in and of itself.   

The 2nd most powerful form of power is Reward.

Weakest form of power is position. 

Example:  5 minutes before President Nixon was impeached did he have any power?  But he was still the POTUS. 

Positions are only powerful because they give you access to other sources of power. The major source of power that comes from positional power is coercive power.   Both of these are really the power to destroy, not to build.

2nd weakest form of power is coercive. 

5.  Most people don’t understand power. 

6.  Sources of power are interrelated.  If you see someone who has referent power there are also other sources of power immediately related to it. If you start to use positional power in a coercive way trust gets lost (i.e. misuse of positional power leads to loss of referent power)

7.  Power is additive. 

8.  Power is historical  (think trust)

9.  People are naïve as to how much power they have – on both sides.

10.  there is no such thing as absolute power.

11.  power is one-way.  (kind of a corollary to #10)

12.  You can give your control to others in means of control.  Like being employed, you give your power to your employer and s/he can control you.  A coercive boss, for example.  Or, a great boss who empowers you .  You can take away the means of control at any time and refuse to cooperate.  There will be consequences, obviously

13.  The more power you get the more careful you have to be:  it takes less effort to use it, and therefore can be very easy to over use it.

14.  The nature and disposition of almost all men and women is that as soon as they get a little authority they immediately exercise coercive power.

15.  never use more power than you need.

16.  Power is a great motivator.

Example:  people will do things for power that they will not normally do – for example, two weeks ago I created a presentation for the opportunity to speak in front of 30 of my peers and several bosses to showcase some of my recent work, hoping to influence others in my organization to think in a similar way.  if people will work hard to get power, just think what will happen if you empower other people.

17.  Power Sharing is Power. 

Sharing power is like sharing love.  It doesn’t erode, it comes back in greater ‘quantities’ than you dealt out.

18.  When you admit a mistake your power goes up.

19.  Forgiveness is a power — by being a release of other people’s power over you.

20.  If you have a problem with the way someone wields their power it is best to speak with them in private.

This doesn’t seem like a cogent point.  I probably missed the point and instead recorded the example.

Regardless, looking at power this way is altering for me.  Remember, power isn’t bad.  It is a way to gain influence and make things better, help yourself grow, better the position for your family and children, and do good in the world.  Power can be yielded for good things and bad things.  So wanting more power doesn’t have to be a bad thing.  It should be a good thing.

Please take the time to research and think about signing this petition. 

While Facebook does try to moderate its group pages and “likeable” pages, it cannot moderate them broadly or fast enough to stop the disgusting filth that is purveyed through its infrastructure.  An anti-pornography group I follow has recently asked people to sign a pledge asking Facebook executives to use more resources policing its own site, just to keep things LEGAL.  The text of the petition is quite simple:

Please use the necessary resources to decrease the amount of pornography, stop the child pornography and child predators, and put an end to the buying and selling of people on your site.

There are links to some scrubbed versions of the pages, more text-based things than image-based, and it can be quite disturbing.  But take my word:  it is real, disgusting, sickening, saddening, illegal, and needs to be stopped.

You can find the petition here.

Goodbye and Hello




We said goodbye to Sassy, Snow-Snow, Wynona, and Bonita yesterday. I couldn’t bear to see them get old and die. And they were starting to eat their own eggs. Saying goodbye was really sad. BUT…

Their home will be on a large property by the Snohomish river where they can free range ALL DAY! Unlimited dust baths, tasty greens, bugs galore, and fresh air.


Today we said hello to our new chicken family: Phyllis, Autumn, Tso II, and Azula.

We technically got Phyllis on Saturday. Rhonda, another Crazy Chicken Lady, talked me into taking the chick home for a few days. Phyllis had been pecked by the other chicks to the point of bleeding. She was coated with some purple goop to repel more pecking. She smelled like a grape. She needed some time to heal. Rhonda even sent me home with a few supplies. Needless to say, one thing led to another, and Phyllis became the first and central member of our new chicken family.


Autumn was our second chicken. We had brought her home with another new chick named Tso, but that chick bullied and pecked Phyllis. She had to go back. Autumn was very mellow and sweet, so we left her in the cage at home, and took Phyllis too. I was going to return her to the farm and feed for good, but our hearts broke when she flew out of each cage onto the rim to see us.


We then selected Azula by putting Phyllis in the cage of Blue Langashan chicks and seeing who would hang out with her and lie down peacefully with her. Azula was the one!


We picked out Tso II by the same method. This was a much less spicy version of Tso. Just what we needed.

[Editor’s Aside:  The correct name is General Tso…as in General Tso’s Chicken.  Tso is affectionately known as The General, General, General Tso, Tso and Tso-Tso.]

Now everyone gets along swimmingly! So begins the second chapter of the Bettilyon chicken saga…


by Matt

Once again the Easter Bunny visited our house on the Saturday before Easter and we had an egg hunt.  Rebecca hanging out in the sun:




Asia, buddy or boss?



Later that week Asia and Brianna’s friend Dominic was over.  I tried really hard to get him to act like he was lifting a really heavy barbell.  He was just so cute!_POR3098

Asia joined him a few moments later:


by Matt

Holly and I made a stealth visit to SLC a few weeks ago for Britney and Wonhyung Kim’s wedding (Britney is our cousin).  They flew in from South Korea on Friday, were married in the Bountiful Temple on Wednesday, and flew home again on  Saturday.  Crazy!  Holly and I wanted to go to the event, so we flew down on Tuesday.  My flight arrived super early, so I padded around the valley for the day, ate lunch with Al, drove up Big Cottonwood canyon a ways (just for old time’s sake) and visited the Tulip Festival at Thanksgiving Point.


I still like Washington’s Tulip Festival, but after reviewing my pictures a few times I’ve realized that this festival is nice, too. 


And just to prove that I’m trying to take pictures of things besides flowers:



Jory and Wonhyung outside of the temple; Holly and the bride, Brittney, also outside of the temple.  The happy couple decided to come out in “normal’ dress clothes and came back to the temple later in the nice suit and wedding gown to take pictures – that way they only had to get formalized up once during the day. 

The wedding ceremony was great and every time I sit through one I enjoy reliving my own wedding ceremony in the Jordan River temple with Rebecca.  I love the temple!


Uncle Cliff, happy father-of-the-bride.  And my cousin Jory’s daughter, Aeris. 

Holly and I stayed at her in-law’s place, which is in north Salt Lake.  On Thursday we walked around one of those gravel-pit type places at the point of the mountain north of Salt Lake.  I’ve been driving  by them for years and Holly really wanted to walk around, so we had fun getting muddy and looking at snap dragons.  After our walk, we splurged and went to one of the Greek Burger Joints near their home.  Don’t know what a Greek burger joint is?  Their specialty (IMHO) is the pastrami burger with fries (and fry sauce).  I got a shake, since I was totally NOT following my diet, but they also have baklava available.  I am sad now that I forgot about the baklava.  Afterwards I felt sick for the rest of the day.  As I tell my kids about McDonalds:  If you eat crappy food, you end up feeling crappy.  (but it felt GREAT going down).

Then we flew home!  It was nice to have time away from school, but even better to come home and see Rebecca and the kids.